The Best of the Worst Intentions
An ode to “allies” by Ada J. Raven
To whom are you speaking and why?
What is the reason behind your activism? Do you wish to make a change?
Or do you wish to be praised?
Change must begin within ourselves, and to change from within we must first reflect…
Are we entirely free of the sin we fight?
No. The plank of wood remains firmly nestled in our eyes, obscuring our souls.
I am angry. I am angry, I am sick, and I am tired.
Angry that I must always be aware of past traumas lest they be inflicted upon me again and I am disbelieved.
Sick of having the same conversations over and over with people who claim they value me.
And lastly, I am tired… tired of being the one to comfort when others are uncomfortable with what was done to me.
I have no more energy for it, this world that was built around me but not for me.
And I tire of the people in it — all wretched and requiring that I sanction or condemn them.
I am not your God and I am less your Devil.
I owe you nothing, not approval nor understanding.
Seek it elsewhere.
Signed with vehemence,
A mixed-race black woman.