Approaching 30

Prose by Ada J. Raven

Ada J. Raven
1 min readMay 5, 2021
Photo by Thomas Kinto via Unsplash

I’ve put on weight and it’s startling to me.

No one points it out, but I’m sure they’ve noticed. My arms are rounder, my stomach isn’t flat, my face may be a little puffier…

You know it’s going to happen, but it’s still scary when it does.

I could take better care of myself — cut out certain snack foods (“vegan” and “healthy” aren’t always synonymous) and get more active again…

but something tells me I will struggle more from this point forward to get my body to behave as I want.

I look forward to childbirth but I fear it as well… the wreckage it will make of my body.

It doesn’t dissuade me from wanting a child but I fear my own feelings when I look at myself in the mirror.

It’s not the image I fear but my own sentiments about my body.

Is this how it is for everyone or am I overreacting?