Approaching 30
Prose by Ada J. Raven
--
I’ve put on weight and it’s startling to me.
No one points it out, but I’m sure they’ve noticed. My arms are rounder, my stomach isn’t flat, my face may be a little puffier…
You know it’s going to happen, but it’s still scary when it does.
I could take better care of myself — cut out certain snack foods (“vegan” and “healthy” aren’t always synonymous) and get more active again…
but something tells me I will struggle more from this point forward to get my body to behave as I want.
I look forward to childbirth but I fear it as well… the wreckage it will make of my body.
It doesn’t dissuade me from wanting a child but I fear my own feelings when I look at myself in the mirror.
It’s not the image I fear but my own sentiments about my body.
Is this how it is for everyone or am I overreacting?